If only I could have told her

There was this little girl I once knew. She was finishing up her freshman year, still trying to find where she belongs. She still hid behind baggy clothes and cast down eyes. She still used last year’s back pack and “hand me down” clothes. This little girl still obeyed curfew and only rebelled to a certain point than gave up. She was very impressionable, always wanting to please. She had this crazy idea she’d be popular one day, with lots of true friends and an active social life. All she wanted to do was fit in, to feel loved in all aspects of her life. All this little girl wanted was to be helped out of an emotional depression that brought her to her knees every night. If only I could have told her.

She began her sophomore year. She suffered a lot of heart breaks in the beginning and she didn’t have the right friends. One night she asked a friend about sneaking out, the friend insisted she should do it. “You’re only fifteen,” her friend said “why not just do it!” Poor poor little girl, my she was impressionable. She took a friend’s advice and sneaked out with a guy she barely knew. They talked on the phone before this, he said he knew her family well. “I’m a family friend,” he said to her “you can trust me through and through.” She was very naïve, this poor poor girl. She was smart in the books, but stupid to the streets. If only I could have told her that he was not a good man. She’s a hard head this little girl, but that night she thought she was not worth anything any more.

She had gotten into a lot of trouble, ditching school and talking back to teachers. She went from a 4.0 student to retaking classes the next year. She was barely hanging on, hell-bent on going crazy. She found a new friend in alcohol, and that brought her ever closer to the edge. If only I could have told her life gets better each day in the end. I wish I could have told her not to make bad decisions ever since that one night. If only I could have saved her.

A man beat her, she didn’t know what to do. He tried to steal the fruit she held, but this time she came through. Her mind was distraught, battered, and cold. She found love in a pipe filled with green-gold and a cup filled with fruity liquor. Oh this poor little girl, how I wish I could have slapped her. I wanted to wake her up from her nightmare. Her conscious was broken, she felt nothing no more. She woke up crying every morning and lived like a ghost. Acting so well, with a smile on her face. I knew what she was thinking, in her mind it was a dark and dreary place. If only I could have told her there were people to help her. Oh I really wish I could have told her.

The world was not kind to her, she battled the shadows through the nights. Time did its duty and healed the wounds however this little girl could never forget. If only I had a time machine, I could have told her it will be okay. I could have shaped a better future for her and I today. But in my heart I know, I don’t think I would be the same.

If I had saved her, who would I be today?

MJMS©


PS: Honestly…

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